Old men with hats are terrible drivers. I don’t know whether this is because it tends to be older guys who like head gear or whether the hat fuddles their brains and thus their motor skills. But it’s certainly a warning to other drivers, including myself, not to get too close to them, particularly on motorways. That’s where you tend to see ’em, trundling along in the middle lane, oblivious to everybody and everything. We’ve observed them eating sandwiches as they drive. Even more dangerous. Why don’t they wait til they get to a picnic stop, take out their tartan rugs and flasks and leave the roads safer for the rest of us.
I saw one man with a hat in the marketplace this morning. He was trying to unlock his car, using numerous keys and circling the car a number of times. We were waiting for his place and curious as to what he was up to. Then he went to the adjacent car – same colour – and his key worked. He’d been at the wrong car! We kept out of his way as he manoeuvred his way out of the space, almost pranging the car he’d just tried to break into it. The owner didn’t realise what an escape he or she had just had.
My husband was a safe driver until he bought a hat. He drove so slowly that the girls reckoned you could count leaves on trees. His idea of reckless driving is going through lights on amber. He regards me as a bad driver and when I took over the driving recently, because of his hand operation, we rowed all the time. Now he should eat his words as he’s got to go on what is amusingly called ‘a speed awareness course’ because he’s been caught doing 38 mph in a 30 mile zone. Now he won’t go faster than 20 miles an hour for fear of losing points!
The stranger the hat, the worse the driving by the way. Watch out for them and report back here!